Finally an Update!

It's been waaay too long since I've updated this thing.  So at 5 in the morning, when my body has decided it will sleep no more, I've decided to finally do a little update post......

Baby #4 and me

- While I'm up before the sun today for no apparent reason, I must say, I have slept the best throughout this pregnancy than I have with my others.  I have 3 busy children to thank for that.  However, now at 36 weeks, comfort to fall asleep and an empty bladder are hard to come by, so sleep is getting harder to come by.

- Cravings: I eat watermelon like it's going out of style.  I prefer to eat it doused in lime juice.  We seriously go through 2-3 watermelons a week.  This is part of the reason that it's hard to come by an empty bladder!  Other than the watermelon, I love cookies and milk, cereal, and cheetos.  And with the help of those very healthy cravings (ahem!), I've packed on about 27 pounds to date.  I don't know what it is about cheetos, but those have been a consistent craving for all of my pregnancies.

- Still no name for baby boy.  Atleast we have a short list.  But depending on the week, if you ask me what his name will be, I'll give you a different answer.  Right now, we are between Henry "Hank" and Brooks for a first name.  Thomas as a middle name for both.  Though it could be something completely different, too.  Thoughts?  Opinions?

- Fears: Giving birth.  After having Ben naturally and suffering through the pains of back labor, I find my mind dwelling on it a bit these days.  I do plan to go natural again as I do think it is the right way to go for me, but fear of the pain of labor gets a little overwhelming these days as I creep closer and closer to my due date.

             Juggling it all.  This will be baby #4 for us.  I've been through growing pains with a new child's birth 3 times already.  Each time it is a struggle to learn a new normal and adapt.  Between the hormones and the healing and another person I'm now responsible for, I know I have a few emotional and tired months ahead of me.  And the fact that this baby will come in the summer is both brilliant and crazy of me (as if I had something to do with the timing!).  Good on the one hand that we don't have to be any where at any time.  Bad because I'll have 4 kids staring me back in my tired face all day, wondering what we're going to do next.  I am somewhat prepared.  Prepared as I can be.  The girls are signed up for a few summer things, and I've hired a college girl to help me out 2 days a week.

- Excitements: Witnessing God's miracle first hand.  Meeting this little one for the first time.  Seeing what he looks like.  Getting to know him.  Cuddling my curled up little ball of love.  Nursing.  Seeing my two girls and Ben be big sisters and a big brother.  Newborn smell.  Newborn noises.  Figuring out what his name will be.  Growing as a family.

Hattie

All dressed up for her farmer program at school.

- Hattie will be a first grader at the end of next week!  Woah!  She has enjoyed school so much.  And overall, the decision to do public school has been a good one for us so far.

- Big milestones for Hattie this year: becoming a strong reader.  learning to skip and hula hoop.  learning to snap.  understanding the concept of addition and subtraction.  getting her ears pierced. losing her first tooth with presently, a very wiggly second tooth!

- She is a joy to raise!  Hattie is my straight-arrow, first-born who aims to please and wants to do well.  She is a great big sister, very tender and nurturing.  She is mostly obedient.  She is a thinker and artsy, a perfectionist.  Very internal verses external.  Things stick to her heart longer, which challenges me to be a more thoughtful mother.  She has the best appetite and will try anything I put in front of her.  She often says, "This is better than I thought it'd be, Mama." :)

Mary Ellen

At almost 4, she still loves the baby swings at the park.

- At 3, Mary Ellen wasn't quite ready to leave the nest, so I pulled her out of preschool early in the year and kept her home with me.  A very good decision for both of us.

- Big milestones for Mary Ellen this year: learning to color in the lines and her drawings are becoming more sophisticated.  Her people now look like people!  learning to dress herself and put on her shoes.  waking up dry at naptime (still working on nighttime!).  getting her first "real" haircut - just a good trim.

- Mary Ellen prides herself in being "the funny one."  Just yesterday she asked me, "Mama, who's the funniest in the house?"  "Who?" I asked.  "I am!" she proclaimed.  She is definitely more external than internal.  She acts more on emotion.  She's 3, afterall, so I am interested to see how much of her personality is her age or just truly who she is.  She is a performer - loves to sing and dance.  Loves to laugh.  Loves to pretend.  Plays very well by herself.  You don't want to cross her, though.  She's our firecracker!  She wants carrots and hummus every day for lunch.

Benjamin

One of the only recent pictures I have of him because the boy doesn't sit still unless he's confined.

- My baby boy who will soon be a big brother.  It has been such a joy having a son and seeing how different he truly is from his sisters.

- Big milestones for Ben this year:  So many!  At almost 19 months, Ben's talking up a storm.  He is learning new words every day.  Right now my favorite phrase he says is, "Doh doh door."  "Shut the door."  He is obsessed with opening and shutting doors.  Really he's obsessed with opening and shutting anything.  He loves repetition.  He loves reading books.  He knows where his eyes, nose, ears, tongue, and mouth are.  He calls his belly button a "bo-bo."  He is obsessed with MY belly button right now and loves to kiss it, though he has no idea what's growing inside :).  His favorite place to be is "ow-side."  He throws fits like his sisters never even dreamed of throwing.  Sean took him, without telling me where he was going, to get his first big boy haircut.  Goodbye baby hair with no pictures to show for it :(.  Hello, big brother haircut!  He loves peas.  And peanut butter on a spoon, not in a sandwich.  He loves roast and mashed potatoes with fresh green beans.  He hates most things from a can.  Smart boy who knows that fresh is better but makes it hard for mom on quick lunch days!

Cookie Monster

It's official: his grandma, Tutu, has spoiled him rotten.  She is the reason why he got his first taste of an oreo.  And, as is pretty clear in the above photo, he's a fan.  Oreo's #1 fan!

We're just gearing up for first birthday cake fun over here.  It's only a little more than a month away.  I cannot believe it.  {sniff, sniff}.

The {Almost} Perfect Sister

Last night I got to accompany Sean to a cocktail party that's thrown at the beginning of this annual convention they do in the insurance world each year.  I was excited to go {in the minority for sure!} because I like to get dressed up, I like an open bar, and I like talking to other adults, even if it is a lot of awkward small talk.  Is stay-at-home mom written all over my face?

Thankfully my sister, in the kindness of her heart, agreed to watch the kids.  I love her for her readiness to spend time with her nieces and nephew.  I love that she lives close to us.  I love that my kids love her and think she's so fun.  Problem #1 for the night to happen - finding a sitter - solved!

Problem #2 - what the heck am I going to wear?!  Being the stay-at-home mom that I am, I hardly have anything in my closet that even resembles a cocktail dress.  But really, even when I wasn't a stay at home mom, I hardly had anything in my closet that resembled a cocktail dress.  One of my biggest strengths and weaknesses is that I am so practical.  The core of who I am just will not allow me to spend $100+ on a dress that I am hardly ever going to wear.  I just can't do it.

But my sweet, kind, fun, twenty something year old sister loves to get dressed up.  And her budget and inner core are very different from my own, so I got to raid her closet.  And even though she is 2-3 inches taller than me, and we are built very differently, as we analyzed while I went through her closet hours before the cocktail party, I found a dress that worked!  She even provided the matching shoes - my feet are still paying the price of those heels! - and jewelry.

Problem #3 - my hair.  I have a hate/hate relationship with my hair.  It's just blah dark brown, hasn't been cut in over 6 months, has no body, and I just plain have no idea what to do with it.

About a week ago while surfing pinterest, I found a hairstyle I wanted to duplicate.  It had a step by step video, it seemed easy enough, and the girl seems to have similar hair as me.  So what if she's a hair-stylist and went to school for this and does hair for a living?  I could totally figure it out and make it look just like hers.

I tried for an entire hour to fix my hair in this do.  I think the video is slightly over 4 minutes.  Sean was being very patient, feeding the kids and getting everything ready before my sister came over and we had to leave.  I just needed to be alone and concentrate.

I finally got the hair done to my liking.  I thought it looked pretty good if I did say so myself.  And I did.  To myself.  In the bathroom mirror.  Now I only had 20 minutes left to do my makeup and put my dress on, but that's double what I normally have, so that was fine.

When my trendy, fashionable sister walked up the driveway to babysit, I pranced out in my her heels and dress, wanting her to say how fabulous my hair looked, that she couldn't believe her practical, plain sister could do her own hair outside of the regular down, flat, drab look she normally has and have it come out looking so great.

You have two bald spots in the back of your head was what she said.  Brutally honest, trendy, fashionable sister.  Apparently I hadn't pinned the back properly and had pushed the pins up in such a way that showed two bald spots on either side.  The front looked so pretty and perfect, but there was no way I could walk around all night with two bald spots in the back of my head!

There was no time to fix it.  We were already running late, and Sean's patience was thinning by the second.  So I pulled the pins out, ran my fingers through my hair, tsked at myself in the mirror, and was ready to go.

Running low on patience husband was not so keen on taking a picture before we left, so I quickly gave Hattie my phone and said snap it!

The only photo of my fancy-shmansy night out :(.

I had to go with the regular old flat, I obviously don't know what to do with this mop, hairstyle.  But the silver lining is Sean decompressed in the car, and I got over myself.  We had a good time! 

And I need to make a shout out to my seeester!  I am so thankful for her.  Thankful she was there to spend time with my kids while I got to have a night out on the town with my husband.  Thankful she loaned me a pretty dress and stilettos and earrings to match.  Thankful when I called at 8 (when we said we'd be home) and asked if it was ok if we stayed out later, she said yes, even though she was tired and had to go to work the next day.  And, most importantly, I'm thankful she didn't let me walk out the door with two bald spots in the back of my head.

I am now on a quest to send her to beauty school, so she can learn to fix hair {particularly mine!}.  Then she would be the perfect solution to all of my date night problems!  Because, you know, that's her ultimate goal in life. ;)

Serving Others

I am starting my second year in a young mother's group at my church.  It has blessed and enriched my life more than I could have hoped.  The group is the answer to a prayer I've prayed for a long time, a prayer for the 3 C's, as I'll call them - community, connection, and communion with other Catholic mothers of young children in my area.

This year we are studying and discussing God's Plan for Marriage and Family by JP 2.   Last night, the key phrase I walked out the door of our first gathering with was to serve, not to be served.

What a beautiful marriage would be in store if my husband and I could just live by those words daily!  If we would decrease, HE could increase.  

Living out the gospel every day is so hard, isn't it?  Selfishness is such a nasty seed that can be planted in the heart.  It leads to ugly things like anger and resentment.

The answer is humility.

If our God, our Prince of Peace, our King of Kings can humble Himself to become a man, to come down to this earth from the paradise He created and SERVE mankind out of LOVE, why can I not joyfully serve the ones I love the most!  I am called to do that.  I am called to do much more than that.

This is why marriage and motherhood are so hard and so necessary to the transformation of my soul.  Nothing has challenged my motivation or put my soul under a microscope like marriage and family have.

The ugliness of self-centeredness was there all along, but I didn't see it as often or as strongly when I was single and allowed to live according to my own desires and will.

To serve, not to be served.


And it doesn't take marriage or children to live this way.  We are all called to be His hands and feet on this earth.  We each have our own vocation.  And the seasons change, but the words never do.

To serve, not to be served.


Sometimes we are our biggest obstacle in doing His work, right?  And it's hard to see because our society is so me! me! me! focused.  And life is so clogged with sin and hurt.  Our bodies are so weak and tired.  Disappointment is ever-present.

But He is here.  Still serving.  Giving us the strength and grace to keep going.  To keep doing His work. Being His hands and feet.  Serving.  But we have to humble our hearts to accept His Work.

So the last will be first, and the first will be last.

And, just on a lighter note, imagine what driving and traffic would be like if we lived by these words!?  Ha!  Who needs marriage or kids to see our ugly selfishness?  Just get in the car and drive.  Next time someone is trying to cut me off, which happens often now that I have a mini-van (but that's another post for another day), I think I'll roll down my window and scream at them, Be humble!

Or maybe not.

We have to be His hands and feet to show His heart.

My Little Man

He loves to grunt and rough-house.  He's SO LOUD all the time.

At 10 months old, he already gets into way more than the girls ever did.

He lights up when we go outside.

Anything in the shape of a ball is his favorite toy.

Pillows are not for sleeping; they are for tackling.

He gets angry and throws fits that little girls just don't make.

He eats just about everything.

And has an obsession with the broom and vacuum cleaner.

A rough and tough mama's boy for sure.

Daddy's pride and joy.

Having a little boy is so much fun!