Our days are filled with images like these pictures. I find that these two can be getting along so well; then I turn my back for a second, and they're fighting. It's usually over a toy. Hattie likes to aggravate her baby sister. Mary Ellen has learned to scratch and pull Hattie's hair. They have to have everything equal. If one gets a cracker or juice, you better believe the other one wants and must have the same thing.
I know this is just the beginning of what will be a deep relationship. I have two sisters, so I know the highs and lows that come with having such a relationship. Now I get to see it from a mother's perspective, and I am enjoying watching them together so much; however, they can also frustrate me and leave me throwing my hands in the air, not knowing what the right solution is. And they're only 1 and 3. I tremble when I think how I'll manage when they're 15 and 17.
The other day I was at a playdate with the girls, and a more experienced mom was there with her 3 daughters. Two of them started fighting over a toy. She immediately took the toy away and said, "We will not love a THING more than we love each other. When you figure out a loving solution, come and find me and the toy." And that was the end of it. These girls are older than mine, and this was the perfect solution, I thought, to this problem. Not just taking the toy away; I usually do that, but what she said. I thought that was right on. Don't you love learning from more experienced, wiser mommies? Most of my parenting tactics have come from them.
So hopefully by spending time with wise mommies and with lots of GRACE, I can help foster a loving, gentle, non-competitive relationship between my girls. That's so important to me!